I have been abandoned. I have been rejected. I have been ignored. I have been pushed aside. I have been used. I have been misjudged. I have been taken advantage of. I have been lied to. I have been abused. I have been taken for granted. I have been torn apart. I have been hurt. I have been insulted. I have been manipulated. I have been isolated. I have been done so many wrongs by others and myself. Friends, family and romantic relationships have shown me so much pain. These people that I have trusted and cared for have shown me that I am nothing. They have made me doubt who I was, question and second guess myself.
I have watched all these people do and say things that have caused me pain. I am no longer the person I used to be anymore though. I have lived and I have learned. These people are always going to hurt me, but now I no longer let what they do or say affect who I am. They can no longer hurt me, not as much at least. I have developed standards and boundaries and realized that not everyone is your friend. I know who my friends are, I know who my school mates are. I know who my acquaintances are. I know who people are and what places they hold in my life, and I most definitely treat them accordingly.
I no longer have expectations of others because at the end of the day people change and they owe you nothing. As for my family, you can’t choose blood, but you can create boundaries and treat everyone accordingly. At the end of the day even they don’t owe me anything, but I’m grateful for the good things and bad things. Then romantic relationships are over for now. I’m not going to waste my time on someone who isn’t loving me as much as I love him. That’s a long discussion for another day. At this point in my life, I have been through enough to not waste time crying over spilt milk. Not saying it doesn’t hurt, just saying I no longer spend too much time in grief.
I have been hurt, I am hurt, I will be hurt. As I have come to terms with the fact that there is no way to exist on this earth without feeling pain in its many different forms. There is no pleasure without feeling pain and vice versa. Sometimes the pain lasts longer than the pleasure but doesn’t mean that the pleasure was not experienced. Things will hurt, people will hurt me no mater what, but how much of that hurt am I going to allow to control me? I will feel that pain, I will grieve, then I will access the damage, consider if I need to do better or if it wasn’t even about me in the first place.
I will look at the pain and decide how long to grieve. I will not over do it. I will not escalate it and I will most definitely not let it control my life. After the grieving is done, I’d like to sadly inform you that the pain doesn’t just go away. It never does. You just learn to let things go and live with it. Gradually the pain lessens, and you hardly notice its presence. At the end of the day there is no code or formula to successfully avoiding pain in life because it’s a part of life. There’s probably a way to mediate certain types of pain but I’m no expert. I can only say that it does get better, and life is too beautiful to spend it living in fear of getting hurt.
I have been loved. I have been cared for. I have been shown mercy. I have been shown sympathy. I have been adored. I have been touched. I have been held. I have been nurtured. I have been romanced. I have been caressed. I have been trusted. I have been counted on. I have been praised. I have been supported. I have been kissed. I have been shown compassion. I have been celebrated. I have seen chosen. I have been liked. I have through enough bad in my life to always remember the good. I have seen a lot of bad and good to know that they are both temporary situations. The same way living is temporary so why spend it in pain?
Why do you want to let all the bad things overshadow the good? Why do you not remember that there were once good times? It is easy to write a person off for one wrongdoing but before you do that let them explain and you remember if they were truly good to you. I do not hate anyone that has hurt me or left me. Some people’s roles in your life are temporary and that’s okay. I forgive and forget because I know I’m not perfect and grief is temporary. I look forward to the good times and grieve as much as possible when I’m in the bad times. The only person I can control is me and I’m fine with that.
I no longer force things. I no longer panic when anyone leaves because I know someone else will come, whether now or later. Even if no one come, that’s also okay. I appreciate the memories I made with the people I lost but their time is up in my life so they must leave. It will only hurt more if you force them to stay. I’m no longer shocked when people do or say things that hurt me. I expect pain. So, when it happens, I grieve and move on. I am thankful for everyone that has come into my life, those who have left, those that their expiration date it near, and those that will come. No matter whatever happens to you or around you life will continue to go on. You are the one left to decide if you want to go on with it or stay where you are. The choice will always and forever be yours, hopefully you don’t stay in one spot. There’s so much of life to see, do, feel and experience. Don’t waste your time crying over spilt milk but don’t rush your grief either, take it one day at a time. I believe in you.
‘Let me know what you think, any opinions or comments you may have as well as my latest daily segment (DeliciousWords) will be on Instagram: @beautifully_psychotic_ and Twitter: @BeautifullyPsyc. I look forward to interacting with you. Or if you just want to talk I’m here to listen.’