He can never be what I want him to be because he isn’t supposed to be what I want. Not because he’s a bad person or anything, but because I know what I want, and I can clearly see that he isn’t that. I’m just preparing for disappointments if I choose to be with him. Is it worth the headache of being with him?
It’s easy to fall for potential and be disappointed with reality. Putting yourself in an impossible situation because you believe possibilities. I have seen parts of him that I like, that give me hope that he could be what I want, but knowing someone can do something and them actually doing it is a whole different ball game.
I think coming to terms with the reality of the situation is the best thing for me. I’ve fallen for potential before, and it didn’t end well. It’s like putting myself in front of a fully loaded gun and expecting the bullets not to kill me, and I’m not a delusional person. The only reason I fell the first time was because he did the things that I needed.
He was what I wanted until he decided not to be. Now its blindingly clear that this one isn’t it. There is no point wasting my time on him. I have come to terms with it. I have accepted it. I’ve been through enough pain already, better to avoid it if I can see it coming right in front of me.
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