You know I could just keep quiet and enjoy the benefits of my silence but that’s not what I want. I have not asked for much but for you to show me the affection you always speak of to me. Yet you find it so difficult to do. The moment I ask for material things you are swift to deliver but at the mention of emotion you run like it burns your skin.
You don’t even run straight up. At the point when I comment on the fact that I need some of your affection you swindle and dabble me with tantalizing words only to vanish the next day like nothing happened.
The majority would say I should shut up and accept all the material things and then when I’m done with you, I should leave. Or rather I should find a person on the side to make me happy. I know who I am and what I want, and it isn’t either of those things. I want you and no one else. I want us to go back to how it use to be when this all started. I want you to call me randomly just to say you miss me. I want to wake up to a good morning kiss, not an empty bed. Even if you can’t wait for me to wake up a text wouldn’t kill you.
I want to get rid of all this doubt inside me. I want to go on dates with you at least once in a while or month. I want you to tell me you love me just cause and not because we just finished having an argument. I want random kisses and hugs not an empty house and bed.
I want to be happy again. I want flowers and chocolate that you sent me because you wanted to and thought that I deserve it. I want to see that brightness in your eyes that always appeared whenever you saw me. I want to be called beautiful by the man that loves me and knows that I’m actually beautiful.
I’m not asking for much. I just want you to love me again. I want you to show me that love. I never said you should do all of this every day, apart from the texts, but at least often. I’m not asking for a perfect relationship because I know they don’t exist. I’m also not saying that we won’t have bad days or be ‘busy’ with our own personal shit. I’m just saying that it shouldn’t be an excuse amongst the countless other excuses that you have to not show me that you love me.
I don’t want you to only placate me with lovely words whenever I complain. I want you to know that something is wrong and fix it.
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