I just went through a situation and it made me realise I want someone to love me always. Not in the way that most people mean it, I want you to love me on the days you find it hard to love.
I want you to love me during the days where you feel like the whole world is crashing down on you. I don’t want you to hide your pain from me, I want to be the first person you run to wherever you do feel pain. I don’t want to only exist to you in times of happiness, I want to exist in times of sadness too.
I want everything.
I want the parts of you that you don’t want others to see so that I can love them the same way I love the rest of you. I want you to show me the part of you that stares into the wall and questions your existence. I want to be the one you lean on in those times, and even after it. I want to be the person you want to share your silence with.
When the world gets too loud and you just need silence, let me be the person you find peace in. We just sit in silence. No questions, not answers, no words. Just silence, whilst you rest in my arms, holding unto each other. I feel your racing heart begin to calm, and your rapid breathing begin to shallow.
I don’t want your darkness hidden from me. I want to show it to me like you show me every other part of yourself. I want you to be able to talk to me, to understand that we are in this together. Keeping things from me and fighting those battles alone doesn’t prove to me that you’re strong. It shows me that you don’t trust me enough.
It may have absolutely nothing to do with me but doesn’t stop me from feeling left out, especially when its obvious you’re going through something. Its even worse when you keep your distance from me because you want to figure it out on your own. Its not about me, its about you. But everything about you is my business though.