For a species and population that talks about love and relationships so much you’d think we actually have more healthy ones. So much information out there but yet the quality of the people are getting worse. We either love Love or love to hate it. So much information and that’s the problem and the solution.
There is so much information out there all good and bad, that as consumers we either find actually good and reliable information. Or we just follow the information that supports our believes. Because no matter how fucked up your thoughts are there would be people out there that believe and promote that ideology, and that’s the problematic part.
That’s not a topic of today unfortunately.
I have been going through it these past couple weeks. I talked about it in an earlier post but I won’t say which one. Depression has returned from her vacation but not fully, probably because it’s still sunny outside. She also came very differently this time so that’s been very interesting. Reading has been suffering but I just don’t feel like it. I’ll try again next week.
I think that’s all the update I have to give, at least about my mental health. I’ve been going to concerts and having an amazing time. Just trying to do things excite me and bring some form of happiness. The only person in charge of your own happiness is you. Don’t ever give the power anyone else because if they control your happiness, they control you.
That doesn’t take away from the fact that someone can make you happy or be a temporary source. Know the difference.
I’ve been trying to learn something over the last year. It’s not an easy thing I tell ya. It’s more so a life lesson and I’ll explain. At some point last year came I to the realization that ‘not everyone can love the way you love’. This is not only in romantic relationships but every relationship.
You may have an absent but present parent that only provides for one need while ignoring the rest. Like a father just pays the bills but never spends time with you or builds a relationship with you. He loves you and his way of showing it is by providing for you, but it doesn’t translate that way to you because that’s not how are you would like to receive love.
It’s like love languages. There are five of them and they explain a different way in which love is shown. If my love language is acts of service and yours is the words of affirmation the way you and I express love is completely different. It doesn’t mean we can’t be together or we aren’t compatible, that’s not how it works.
It just means that we receive love differently that you need to learn me and I will learn you, so we can love each other better. Once I learn the words of affirmation is your love language, I’d begin to express my love to you in beautiful words and reassurances. When you learn my love language is so act of service, you begin to express your love to me by doing little things like buying me my favorite snacks, holding me when I’m stressed, turning the light off when its time for bed.
It’s the little things that show the most love. My point being that everyone loves and expresses love very differently. With that being said I’m trying to accept that not everyone can express their love the way I do.
It’s different when the person doesn’t love you at all, so don’t get it twisted. Stop ignoring the red flags. The moment you start to doubt or begin to question the feelings of that person, you already have your answer.
I’m trying to accept that not everyone is as passionate as I am and not everyone understands that I need that same level of passion back. It doesn’t make me weak or stupid because I choose to show love in the way that feels right to me. I am a light and I will continue to shine no matter what. I won’t stop loving the way I do just because there are terrible people out there. I just want let them use my love against me. Its mine to give or not to give so I can take it back whenever I want to without consequence.
Not everyone will understand me or treat me the way I deserve because not everyone is supposed to. I’m not for everyone and that has nothing to do with me, it shouldn’t change me.
I will love loud and proud because that’s who I am I will not let these terrible toxic people take that away from me. I will shine, and no one will dim my light.
Not everyone can love the way I love and that’s okay