I was raped today……. and I enjoyed it.
I can’t explain it but it felt so good. I’ve never had sex before so this would be my first time and I enjoyed it. I invited him over; we had dinner and were on the couch talking then we started making out. It was going well, he was a goood kisser. He touched me so tenderly, caressing my skin, fondling with my breasts through my shirt before he started to take it off. I was hesitant but I let him. I’ve done this before, not with him though. This is the first time we’ve met after texting back and forth for a while. Inviting a stranger to your house is risky business but this is my territory and I feel safe here, so I took the risk.
Both our shirts were off, and it was going well, our hands were everywhere, touching, teasing, caressing and pulling. Then he wanted to take my bra off and I objected. He looked at me questioningly as to why I didn’t want it off, but I said I just didn’t want it off. He let that one go and we continued making out keeping the mood going. Then he got up and unbuckled his belt ready to take off his pants. That’s when it all went to shit. I’ve given head before but never to a stranger that I just met so I told him this is all we can do. He didn’t stop what he was doing and some part of me knew I was fucked but at that moment I couldn’t see it.
I thought he was going to stop what he was doing but he continued to unbuckle his belt and zip down his pants. I sat there confused. I repeated again that I can’t go any further, then his pants and boxers fell to the floor, and I was met with a very thick rod. I can’t lie, he had a good-looking dick. I guess he thought the sight of it would make me change my mind, but it didn’t. I was impressed and even more terrified. I haven’t had sex before, but I’ve done everything else. I wasn’t ready for sex yet. Every time I attempted, I’d be gripped with this crippling fear and I’d run. So, I stopped trying.
I was so lost in staring at his dick that I almost forgot the situation I was in until he took a step towards me and I was brought back to reality. I said I couldn’t put my mouth on his dick, and he said okay. He still kept moving towards me before I told him to stop and he did. I told him I can’t have sex with him either and he didn’t respond. He tilted his head to the side observing me for like 10 seconds before I asked him to get dressed that the night was over. Then he gave a me bone chilling smirk and I knew I had to do something. I jumped up and not even 3 seconds from my attempted sprint my arm was pulled with so much force I was flung back on the couch.
I’ve never felt as much fear as at that exact moment. He was on me in an instant and both my arms were pulled above my head. It was in that moment I realized the danger I was in but I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t move to save my own life, literally. He tied my arms with his belt above my head and told me to open my mouth, as he held my face to look at him. I was too numb to move. I’m not sure how many times he repeated himself before he decided to try something else cause I wasn’t cooperating. I felt a sharp sting on somewhere on my body and that brought out a scream from me, immediately a dick was shoved into my mouth. I couldn’t breathe. It was too big. He told me to suck but I couldn’t move. Then he pinched my nose and told me to suck. When my lungs had completely had enough and I almost started to suffocate I begun to suck and he let me breathe.
I stretched my mouth wider than I ever have to contain him, my dentist would be proud. My jaw hurt so bad but he wasn’t letting up. Then he started to go deeper and I almost threw up. He took it slowly though, inch by inch to get me accustomed to his length. He pulled my hair back, angling my head to be able to fit more of his length down my throat. I think he knew my lungs weren’t allowing much oxygen to get to my brain because he stopped and asked me to breathe through my nose. He put me on a rhythm before he started moving again. Ever so often he’d say ‘breathe’ like he knows I sometimes forgot how to. I could tell he liked what I was doing by the sounds he made and I kept going. I’m not sure if it was out of fear or that was just me wanting him to enjoy it.
He started pumping faster and faster and I was trying my best to keep up but I was sloppy. I’m sure he knew but he didn’t care. He just wanted to cum and cum he did, right down my throat. He kept pumping till he was done. He only said one word when he was done, ‘swallow’. And I did. It was hard to do with him still in my mouth but I managed. And he smiled, may I say a smile of pride. I felt heat rush within me at the sight of that smile. Something is definitely wrong with me.
He took his dick out my mouth and I took all the oxygen I could get. I thought it was over but I was very much mistaken. He released my hair and arms but I was still tied up. He made no move to untie me nor dress up himself. He carried me to my bedroom, and I was stunned because I never showed him where my bedroom was. I think that snapped me back and I started thrashing and kicking about. He didn’t even flinch but put me on his shoulder, so my ass was to his face. I was still moving about and yelling at him to let me go. Next thing I felt a sting on my ass. He bloody spanked me. For every move I made I got a spank, I realized the pattern and stopped moving.
I began to beg and plead for him to let me go. Then I was thrown on my bed. I kept begging as he ripped my skirt and underwear right off me, literally he ripped them apart. I liked those two. I was now naked before him and damn terrified cause I knew what was going to happen. He took the pieces of my shredded underwear and stuffed it into my mouth. ‘Brace yourself, this is going to hurt’ he said. I was fucked because panic was the only feeling I was feeling. I kept begging him to let me go and he just kept shushing me.
He started with rubbing my pussy and teasing my clit. I didn’t want it to feel good but it did. He slipped a finger in and the fear returned. He did it slowly like he had all the time in the world. He waited for me to relax before adding another finger. He did this till 4 fingers were inside me and I was dripping like a fountain. He pulled his fingers out and put them in his mouth, tasting me. That action alone caused more havoc to my heart than anything else.
Then he positioned himself at my entrance and the terror was back. Just breathe and look at me. Just the tip and the pain was so excruciating I wanted to cry. He stayed there for a minute before he moved further in, going inch by inch and taking breaks in between to let me adjust. It was the worst pain of my entire life, I could literally feel myself ripping apart. When most of himself was in me he decided to pull out but not all the way. Slowly he thrusted inside me and I wanted to die of pain. Tears clouded my eyes and dripped down the corners of my face.
I wasn’t sure if he didn’t care or was just expecting it but he didn’t stop doing what he was doing. Eventually the pain started to let up and I started to feel good. I started moving my hips in sync with his. Then he took out the underwear from my mouth and I swallowed so much oxygen I began to cough. He was smiling now and I was lost in the moment. Moving to the rhythm he was riding and moaning to my hearts content to the best feeling I’ve experienced thus far.
I was getting raped! But I was enjoying every second of it. I’m so ashamed. I should be terrified but I’m so turned on. An orgasm was looming at the corner, I’m definitely fucked up. But I can’t help it. Faster and harder he fucked me till we both shattered in bliss. I could see the blood on him as he came out of me. Shame gripped me at the thought of what had just happened and how I’d reacted. He untied me and left the room.
I don’t know how long he was gone but when he returned he was dressed.
‘Go clean up. I’ll be back’
Those were his last words to me before he left. He didn’t return that night but what bothered me more was the fact that I didn’t call the cops. I only went to the hospital to get checked out. Thankfully I was fine. But every night since then I’ve waited anxiously for him to return but he never did. You’d think I’d get a weapon to defend myself for his return since I refused to go the police but I didn’t do that either.
I was waiting for him to do everything to me again. I wanted it. I’ve passed the shame of what I am. I’ve accepted the craziness that I somehow need. I’m a lost cause and I want more, so I’ll keep waiting for his return.