I knew I didn’t deserve him. He was just too good, yeah he had a temper and he could ne irrational and annoying atimes but those traits only made me love him more. He wasn’t perfect but he was perfection in my own eyes. It seems so simple to be with him, to love and care for him, but its as far away from that as possible.
I could do almost anything for him but I couldn’t change who I am. I have killed people. I have made peoples lives a living hell with just a phone call. I have caused people so much pain. I have done terrible things to myself and others.
Apart from my life, job and ethics being anything but normal couldn’t just leave it all and be with him. I want to do everything I can to make him happy but it’s difficult to leave a business that created you. We have discussed it but it would always end up in an argument or I would find a way to change the direction of the conversation. Either way the conversation was never pleasant.
The moment people find out that I am leaving the business the more danger his life would be in. I could still protect him but it would be a lot more challenging. He would be in more danger than he already is by being associated with me, much more in a romantic way. He is seen as a weakness, a potential target and the only way to either hurt me or destroy me.
Killing me would be justified but that would be too easy. In my line of business we aim to destroy, it doesn’t have to be killing you. We could do anything just to watch you suffer, but it was all for a price. A bounty is given, a price is decided, the job is done, the price is paid and sometimes increased depending on how good your work is.
I was above that ranking, now I was paid for the job directly by the customer, hired would be the best word to describe it. The moment you become of the high ranking you get ‘friends’. The moment you disarticulate the body of a mafia leader, drug lord, etc. you become wanted with a very delicious price on your head. Those moments counted up to my very existence and will be the reason for my destruction.
I never wanted him in the first place but it seems faith had other plans for me. The only problem was the fact that this love was impossible. He obviously can’t start killing people because of me and I just cant leave the business.
I’m going to make the tough decision for us. I’m going to save him from all this. The only way to save him would be to hurt him and I. I’m going to leave. I’m not going to be with him anymore. I’m not going to put him at risk anymore. I’m going to walk away from him and I’m not going to come back. Its what’s best for us and what’s going to save him from me.