I’ve been writing a lot of very deep stuff recently. It’s probably where my mind has been at lately. I’ve been living on the dark side of my thoughts mostly. I don’t want to dwell on it right now. So, here’s something light.
After many failed relationships, after many heartbreaks, I finally found the one for me. I’ve heard it over and over that you should build yourself before you build a family. Marriage should be that last thing on your mind if you haven’t gotten your shit together. You’re an adult, so you should act like one. I was told not to marry a man who isn’t financially buoyant, doesn’t have a house and a car, etc. For the most part I barely thought about marriage. I was focused on building myself and the life I wanted to have. I was doing everything that was expected of me, and I thought I had everything I could want.
Then he came along and changed everything. He showed me what love feels like. He showed me how it felt to truly be loved and how to love. He was everything I never though I needed. I wasn’t expecting love to be this blissful and fulfilling. It was like a breath of fresh air. It’s not at all suffocating as I was expecting it to be. He doesn’t make me do anything, he’s supportive, attentive, annoying and everything else in-between. I thought my life would stop if I got married or even considered relationship, but it hasn’t. I thought I’d have to give up who I was to be the woman he wanted me to be but that’s not the case. He’s my biggest support and number one fan.
I never expected to have been with such an amazing person but I’m eternally grateful. He’s not perfect, I promise. He’s annoying as hell and can get under my skin sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else. I thought that everything about my life would change, there has been changes but nothing too life threatening. I still work. I still have girls’ night out. I still dress however I want. I still do what makes me happy but not at the cost of my husband or our family. We have established boundaries within ourselves and in regard to others. Any major and minor decision we discuss and decide together. Sometimes we disagree but nothing to hurt the other person.
We support each other’s dreams and ambitions. If I have to work late at home, he stays up as long as he can to keep me company and get me anything I need. The same way he shows up for me, I always show up for him. Not because he would do the same for me but because I want to be there for him. I want his success as much as he wants mine. We are building on it in every area of our life’s. Spiritually, we keep the faith that we both believe in. Praying together and for each other. Physically we promote intimacy and care for one another. We work together to keep the household. We go on dates at least once a week, we spend quality time with each other.
Mentally, we have differences but he’s there for me if I need any advice. He corrects me with love in whatever thing he thinks I’m doing wrong. We don’t yell at each other. We know each other’s limits and try not to push it. Emotionally, we shower each other with love. We understand each other’s love languages and behaviours and provide whatever is needed. When he’s in a bad mood I know to give him a little space to cool off, but to always be within reach. Like if he’s on the couch I’ll be on the couch too, just not so close to him but close enough for him to touch me. If I’m upset, he knows to get me ice cream and leave whatever room I’m in, after giving me a deep long hug. We understand each other.
Financially, we have ways to keep each other in check and provide for our family. We are both held accountable for any irregular spending. We both have personal accounts as well as saving and a joint account. The joint account is for the family exclusively. We both contribute to it. Sometimes we pay for family things out if pocket but most times we use the account. I won’t mention who earns higher or what percentage of our income we contribute into the joint account, but we are both high earners. We do love to splurge on each other every once in a while. Our relationship isn’t perfect even though it may look that way. Our priorities keep us grounded and together we are building more success and a good home.
No matter whatever may come out way I know we can get through this together. We have 2 kids and one on the way. What I have to say about the child part is to always create time for your partner, the kids come second after your partner. Never stop showing and reminding your partner that you love them. Don’t let your sex life suffer, you’ll both regret it. Always create time for quality time with your partner. Hopefully your relationship is built on healthy communication that allows room for you both to always be able to talk to each other. I can go on and on, but I’ll leave you with this. Know your partner and love them for who they are not for their potential. Who they are is hardly ever going to change, so if their current self doesn’t work for you then leave because you’d only get yourself hurt. No one is perfect, everyone has flaws, that doesn’t mean you should stay in a situation that is hurting you.
Love doesn’t hurt, people do.
‘Let me know what you think, any opinions or comments you may have as well as my latest daily segment (DeliciousWords) will be on Instagram: @beautifully_psychotic_ and Twitter: @BeautifullyPsyc. I look forward to interacting with you. Or if you just want to talk I’m here to listen.’